The Light We Carry Inside

Recently, it feels like life has been a shit show. Not just for me, but for almost every other woman I speak to. Whether it’s a bad boss, an over-bearing colleague, an impending, unwanted job loss, looming money trouble, crushing responsibilities, or a punishing schedule which leaves no space for downtime, to name a few, it seems like many of us are having a tricky time. And that’s before we take into account what’s happening in the world around us.

There’s an old proverb that says “there’s light at the end of the tunnel”, and so when things get hard or chaotic, we cope by telling ourselves that better will come – some day. And so, we complain, we grin and bear it, we keep putting one foot in front of the other, we console ourselves with the hope that our circumstances will get better in the future.

The problem is, we have to get to the end of the tunnel first. And sometimes, when life feels hard, we might not even have the strength to take another step, let alone make it to the end. The other not-so-secret truth is that if and when we do make it to the proverbial end of the tunnel, we might find that our circumstances haven’t changed. In other words, the light at the end of the tunnel may just have been an illusion.

So recently, I’ve started to think about things differently. I’ve started to say to myself:

“There is light inside the tunnel, if I’m willing to look hard enough.”

What it means is that even when things are difficult, life can still be good—because there is always light in us.

Even when the world feels like it’s caving in around us, we can still be grateful for the air we breathe; the breath the flows in and out of our bodies; the food we have to eat; a place for shelter; the people we love who are still with us and those who are no longer with us, but whose time on earth greatly enriched our lives. The ancients knew the truth – thriving really is a state of mind – and now, so do you.

I want to be clear that this shift in perspective doesn’t mean we tolerate abuse or turn a blind eye to injustice. We do what we need to do to live in alignment with our values and needs. But we do that – not from a negative place, or a place of scarcity - but from a place of abundance, hope, positivity, and agency. Because it is also true that “every cloud has a silver lining” (can you tell I love a good proverb?!) – and difficult circumstances are often the catalyst many of us need to grow and change in positive ways.

This Notes on a Good Life reflection has flowed directly from some of my own recent difficulties and I don’t think I could have written it in the absence of those circumstances.

So, whenever you find yourself in the midst of difficult circumstances, try repeating this phrase: “There is light inside the tunnel, if I’m willing to look hard enough”.

Turn it into a mantra if that helps, but better yet, go one step further and turn it into a practice, a practice of tuning into what’s good in your life. I share one of my favorite practices for this here. I’ve found this shift in perspective and practice enormously helpful in my own life and have shared it with other women in my role as friend and as a coach. I hope it will help you to find the good in your own life, even in the midst of difficult circumstances.

Till next time,

Be well ❤️

Founder, This Life is Good

P.S.

If you’re drawn to the ideas in this reflection, I highly recommend THIS book. It’s an inspiring companion for anyone learning to find and hold onto their own light, especially when life and the world feel difficult and stressful.